Being a family member in a high-profile murder case like Columbine brings with it the blessings and messages of condolence from all of the nation, and even the world. One cannot help but feel touched by the outpouring of love and concern. But, unfortunately, there is often unwanted attention that comes with it. This was especially true of Columbine and of me because I became a public figure. Elsewhere I describe the harassment I faced from gun rights activists. Oh, but there was other unwanted attention.
There still exists a shadowy online subculture known as “Columbiners,” people who romanticize and are fascinated by Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Some identify with them because they are bullied and admire the killers for what they (wrongfully and tragically) see as two bullied kids who fought back. Some identify with the feelings of the shooters, take comfort in it because they likewise feel depressed and anxious, and don’t necessarily have someone in their lives who understands them and feels the same way as them. Some are young people seeking to avenge themselves through acts of violence. Some are naïve girls who are obsessed with the killers, and see them as “cute” and “tough,” not understanding how traumatizing the Columbine massacre actually was.
Via email, letters and YouTube responses, I have received dozens of disturbing messages from Columbiners. Most of them expressed not a word of sympathy or understanding. From “vampyr” in Scotland came a typical message, “Daniel and all the other victims deserved to die. Eric and Dylan should be worshipped like the gods that they are.”
Brian from Louisiana wrote, “Get over it. He (Daniel) wasn’t as innocent as you sometimes think. He helped to torment those ‘outcasts’ as did all of the Columbine students…How can I feel sympathy for a type of person so like those I have suffered through with their abuse for so long?”
Then there are internet trolls. These are people, usually young, who post online messages with the intent of provoking others into displaying emotional responses. They often cruelly and intentionally target people who are hurt or are grieving, seeking to gain pleasure from their victims’ pain. I think sometimes they’re people who get an emotional kick out of it, or who feel power over others, perhaps because their own lives are somehow lacking in emotion or power. The many dozens of messages I’ve received from trolls were all over the place, for example, praising the killers or saying that Daniel was a loser.
Fortunately, I wasn’t getting these messages in the first few years after Columbine. Once I did, my daughter Christine informed me about Columbiners and trolls, so that helped me deal with it a bit. Still, it was disturbing to think there were heartless people like this out there. I found myself torn as to how to respond to them, if at all. The easiest thing to do was ignore them and not give them the pleasure of seeing me upset. On the other hand, we know from experts that teens often signal their intentions to do harm, as if they might be seeking the approval of others. So if a teen expresses a desire to commit violence, would my lack of response seem like indifference or passive approval to them? I did respond to some messages. Usually I got no response. Sometimes I got a mild acknowledgement that their message was inappropriate. Sometimes it just led to more harassing messages that I then had to ignore. In the end, what I did was post a video on YouTube in 2012 that called out both the Columbiners and trolls. The video seemed to help, for the number of nasty messages seemed to decline quite a bit after that.
Daniel Mauser Memorial Website 