Comfort from Strangers’ Words
We were overwhelmed by the heartfelt expressions of sympathy and hope from around the world that came in through the website guest page. We received thousands of postings within the first year or so, and I printed, and still have, many of them. At first my webmaster screened out the hateful or inappropriate postings (mostly people objecting to my gun control advocacy), but then I told him not to bother, since I could show the world just how awful gun extremists could be. Then for some reason we lost the guest page functionality, so instead I gave my email address (so that I would have the email addresses of the haters). I have decided to again accept guest mail on this newly revived website.
We received messages from all 50 states and Washington D.C., 11 Canadian provinces and well 40 other countries including: Austrailia, Brazil, Chile, China, Denmark, Egypt, Finland, France, Germany, Great Britain, Ireland, Israel, Japan, Kenya, Malaysia, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Panama, Portugal, Scotland, Singapore, South Africa, Spain, Sweden and Zimbabwe and many more.
Below are selected excerpts from guest page messages received in the early years—ones that particularly touched us. Thanks to all who have written us. We read every message and letter but often weren’t able to respond to them.
Holly of Alabama wrote an especially thoughtful entry, one that really touched our hearts. “In honor of Daniel, I have begun trying hard to deal with some of my own weaknesses, just as he did. In honor of him, I got help for an anger problem…This tragedy, and your openness in expressing your sorrow, have showed me the consequences of poorly managed anger. And, in honor of Daniel, I have applied to mentor a child in the Big Sisters program. Daniel’s kindness lives on through all of us.”
She later wrote again: “On June 25, which would have been Daniel’s 18th birthday, I called Big Brothers/Big Sisters and started in earnest the application process. Next week, I will be matched with a disadvantaged child from a single parent family to mentor, befriend, and help guide.
“I do this in Daniel’s name. Your web site has touched my life. I decided to tell you about this today, because today is my 23rd birthday. I’m slowly but surely becoming an adult, and I know that I am a better adult because of the way you have shared Daniel’s life with the world. I thank you for that, and wish you the very best.”
Linda of Kirkwood, PA said,
“Clearly Daniel was a wonderful person … a ray of sunshine in the lives of many people. Your tremendous love for him is obvious in your positive works and heartfelt words on his behalf.”
My 6-year old daughter was killed two and a half years ago and my husband died a year later. Thank you for publicly sharing your feelings; as a grieving parent it helps to hear how others find the strength to accept.
Betsy wrote:
I believe that it is only when you put an individual behind the headlines, when you get to know the victims, that the story becomes real. It is not till the story becomes reality that people will be ignited to make a change.
Lindsey from Littleton wrote:
…I am so grateful for the past two years that I was able to spend so much time with Daniel because of Debate. Dan was so sweet to me and to everyone. He could always make me smile no matter what the situation was. Dan was very special to me. I have so many special memories of him that I will hold close in my heart.
Sheri of Donalsonville wrote, “You will never even know how much Daniel’s life has touched kids like me all over the world.”
David of Ohio wrote, “I admire Daniel for what he accomplished on his short time on earth. I feel rather ashamed that I haven’t done much with my own life. I’ve never given my parents any real reason to be proud of me. I hope to change that.”
A 17 year old high school senior girl from Manalapan, NJ spoke about how rough it was in school: “My school is so HORRIBLE. Everyone is so mean to everyone else. If you’re not thin, or beautiful or a cheerleader, you’re not accepted. Today I was called a whore for taking someone’s chair at lunch–even though I didn’t even do it. But yet he verbally harassed me. You would think after such a terrible thing like this that U.S. students would learn to have respect for one another.”
Lori from New York State offered a sad but real perspective:
“I am 24 years old and remember a time being afraid of a few of my classmates who were bullied and who threatened violence. This is a real problem in our society and I don’t see an end to it until guns are not so common place in our homes. I also have had a personal tragedy. My brother used my fathers gun to take his own life. I realize this is different than what happened to your son but I have always felt that if he would not have had access to the guns this would not have happened. He was a young, depressed boy and should have not been around any gun.”
Wayne of Indiana lamented deeds of his own life, saying,
“.I think of how lucky I am that I’m still living right now. I think of how I should have died in their places because of how I have wasted the life that God gave me. But when I pray at night I realize that God had a special purpose for all this and that’s when we will begin to appreciate all the blessings the Lord has given us and to appreciate the impact of the ones who died on our lives and to realize how much we could all do if we show each other lots of love.”
Kristina of Green Bay, Wisconsin reflected on her own life: “For the past year, I have been struggling with depression (which makes no sense, since I recently married a wonderful man and love Jesus Christ with all my heart.) I have no motivation to do anything about it, and I have been a terrible pessimist–something I never used to be. After reading your son’s story, I am determined to beat this depression. Your son’s story gives me the motivation to go out and DO something with my life, to make something of myself. It makes me sad when I think of how I have been taking life for granted–and Daniel was so willing to cherish it.”
Chandra of South Carolina wrote, “Since reading everything about Columbine, I take my role as a mother much more seriously now. You never know what may happen once they leave the house.”
Yim Lee Koo of Malaysia said, “I’m sure Daniel would be very proud of his parents and sister who have been so brave and strong for him. Indeed this website would be an encouragement to those who had undergone what you have gone through. Thank you for sharing this with all of us everywhere.
Shauna S of Nova Scotia observed that, “It seems to me that Daniel was one of those people who made the sun shine just a little bit brighter every day. This website is a fitting tribute to a boy who seemed to make you feel that all is right with the world when he was around.
Jim Mc Millan made an observation as a resident of New South Wales, Australia:
“Thankfully our government here had the courage to radically change the gun ownership laws, now the only people who have guns are the people who need them, or are legitimate sportsmen; semi-automatic rifles, shotguns and pistols are totally banned. I used to be a gun owner and soldier so I guess you could say that I’ve been on both sides of the fence; the sooner guns are off the streets the better.
Jennifer, from Washington state, wrote, “I have been watching you and reading about you this past week. Not once did the thought ever occur to me that you were ‘cashing in’ on your son’s death to get your face on TV. Shame on the people who think so.”
Christy of St. Louis wrote, “Even though Daniel’s life was short, you should take comfort in the fact that you gave him a wonderful life, something a lot of kids now a days only think exists in old t.v. shows. I can tell by the photos you have put on this site that you were incredible parents who loved their children very much; who took interest in their daily lives, and who spent a tremendous amount of time with them, molding their personalities and lives into positive, and nurtured beings.”
E. Cryer of Cambridge, Mass., said, “your words, along with those of your wife, oldest daughter, Daniel’s classmates, and even strangers capture Daniel’s spirit so completely that I feel almost as though I had met him. Your efforts ensure not only that others can share a small part of Daniel’s life, but also offer the hope that another family may not have to suffer the loss of such a gifted and cherished son or daughter.”
Tim of Portland, Oregon, said, “.reading about Daniel and the other children has inspired me to live a better life. I just wanted to let you know that I think your son had this kind of impact on me and (I believe) many others.
Katrina, from Massachusetts, reflected on her own experience with grief.
“I am a High School senior this year and I lost a friend in a car accident this past February. His name was also Daniel…he was only 18, and a wonderful kid like your son. Dan’s car accident was not his fault, just as Daniel’s death was not because of something he did wrong, and I feel that is the hardest situation. Sometimes it seems unfair, but we always remember that everyday really is a celebration of their lives, and that they are in everything we do.
Your Daniel, all the way from Colorado, has touched so many people all over the country, and around the world…
Brandy from Greenville, SC, reflected on her own pain. “I would like to say that I have read the Website about your son and it has given me the strength to go on. I’m just a 17 year old that I feel no one cares about. I’ve thought about suicide and tried it, but everytime it seems to fail. I really appreciate the strength that you have given me.”
Shannon from Virginia said, “I can’t even bring myself to make it past the first few pages of the photo album without numerous tears for such a precious baby soul that I am sure developed into a great young man. I can only look at my own children with such great love and realize what a gift I have been given and how can I make today the best day for them.
From a man from Vermont: “I’m in a wheelchair and I’m 25. I understand a little bit of the “you never totally get over it” idea, but I have made a life for myself and now have a son. I used to be a very successful athlete as well as a bully. Now I have a chance to make sure my son is always loved and will always care and respect all those around him. You and the other members of your community show us this all the time.”
Jennie from Austin, Texas, wrote, “I am at work, people keep asking me if I’m ok, they walk in and see tears in my eyes. I have shared your story with a few of my co-workers and they leave my office with tears in their eyes also. I cry not only for your child, but for my own children.”
A young person from Kalamazoo, Mich., adds a perspective on teen school life:
“I remember when Columbine happened. I was sitting at lunch discussing about it with friends & I remember what I said exactly. “I understand why they did it, why they shot those people.” I used to talk & joke with friends, “What if we blew this up or shot this…or him or her.” What a FOOL I was!
In truth I have no idea why anybody would really want to take another’s life. What I felt at that time was pain of not being accepted & teased at my school. My last year in school, I truly felt like a ghost. Then I realized that there is a much bigger world than just this little stuck-up school that I went to.
I still feel resentful of those days but never ever again will I joke of those acts. I feel very ashamed & sorry that I even had those thoughts. Now I love life & am very happy how it’s going, even in bad times.”
Sue from Pennsylvania wrote:
How nice it is to have this kind of technology so that you can share your son with all of the world!…I, too, have chosen to stay at home with my daughters. It is, as you have said, a true sacrifice, in a world which is very materialistic and difficult to survive on one income. But this is a choice I wish more mothers would make. To give up “earthly treasures” to raise your own children is truly priceless.
Kerri from Indiana wrote:
Thank you for reminding us that it is life that we celebrate. This is a wonderful tribute to a very special person. He will always have a place in my heart. Peace.
Hannah from Texas wrote:
I am on the debate team at my high school and debated against Daniel once before. I ‘ll always remember him being so friendly, even to someone that he didn’t know. After we debated, he came up to me and shook my hand, started talking like we were good friends. I’ll never forget that. Probably one of the kindest gestures I’ve ever received from anyone.
Shanna from Littleton wrote:
Daniel was such an amazing person. I was lucky to have shared time in the ALPS program, cross country team, religious education and biology with him. I never got to tell him how much I appreciated how polite and interested he was when I would share my extra credit articles with the class. I would be excited to share the articles I thought interesting but looking around the room I found Daniel the only person remotely interested. I could always count on Daniel… I miss Daniel and the others so much that sometimes I can’t bear the pain. Daniel will be in the hearts of Columbine forever.
Alyssa from Michigan wrote:
I am starting class in the field of psychology and this web page and the sadness I feel when I think again what happened gives me a firm determination to make a difference in my future work. I intend to work in schools with children who have emotional needs and maybe if enough of us are working in schools and helping these kids sooner, it can make a difference and we won’t see this happening in the future. My prayer is that Daniel’s life and the others will be a corner stone for us to build a better, safer future for all of our children. We all need to talk to our children and then listen twice as much and don’t be naive when you think something is wrong.
Carla from Michigan wrote:
I live in a very small town and I go to a school of only 500 kids, but I know that there are at least six or seven kids capable of doing what happened at Columbine…what happened there hit home for me.
Melissa from Colorado wrote:
I especially liked the photos and the 3 suggestions on how to honor Daniel and the other victims. Just from reading through the web site, I have come to believe that Daniel’s gentle and loving spirit has settled on all of you. Thanks for showing us all what true Christian parents are like, through both good and bad times.
Renie from Ohio wrote:
I just read online the Denver Post’s story about you and your son Daniel. I sat here and cried, as I have over everything that has happened out there. What a beautiful, gentle boy your son was.
Jerry from Colorado wrote:
It helped me to think about Daniel as a living, vibrant young person rather than as a victim… Daniel’s memory, and that of the other Columbine students, will survive in the form of greater involvement on the part of my family as we participate in looking for creative alternatives to violence and better ways to resolve harassment and alienation among young people. The school Daniel attended resembles…the school which my daughters attend. We now realize that they are no safer from explosive hatred than was Daniel.
Lon from Littleton wrote:
If there was a way in which we could reach into your hearts and absorb only a portion of the pain…we would.
Tom from Colorado wrote:
Your putting together this web page, and receiving the input from friends and passersby will no doubt be a good way to work through your grief at your loss. I admire you for taking this proactive step to overcome the trauma and grief. It will take time, but you will come out a stronger family, and yet a more “touchable” family.
Ken from Littleton wrote:
Beautifully designed web site…I especially appreciate the tone of your words – not vengeful or bitter. Warm, tender, loving words.
Betsy (a former co-worker of Tom’s) from Colorado wrote:
…what I remember is how proud you always were of your kiddos. You would sneak in slides of the kids in the middle of a technical presentation and say “Oh, how did this slide get in here!?!”
Sara from Amsterdam wrote:
Daniel was truly a rare light in this world, but I can tell that he carried this light further after receiving it from his family. This warm, calming light will never burn out. He came from you.
Mary Kay from Colorado wrote:
…Thank you for allowing me to step into your private lives and tell you how much I care.
Peggy from Nebraska wrote:
As a teacher in a High School I often look at the children and realize how bright each of their lights are shining. When the news of this tragedy reached our students they were stunned and shocked and several came in to talk and pray for you and the others.
Theresa from Arizona wrote:
I love this site! The pain and anguish you feel, and yet as hope and inspiration to others you comfort us all, with memories and uplifting stories of such a wonderful human being…The signs Daniel gave the day of his funeral only substantiate his life. Love of others, caring, compassion, and most of all in what can be a cynical world…The sun shinning through the clouds that day, was his smile and his strength to carry you for what no parent should ever endure…
Meghan from Florida wrote:
…I do know what it is like to go to school afraid…I will try to get involved in some way to stop school violence…tell everybody from Columbine that I am sorry about what happened…that I know what it is like to not have any friends at school and if anybody needs a friend I would love to be their friend.
Anthony from New Jersey wrote:
Because of your sharing of your vision, now whenever I see a deer I think of Daniel and the other students of Columbine, and I vow to do what I can to stop the violence. I believe that God sends us messages of love, and I also believe that our dear loved ones who have died communicate with us in ways we will understand if we are receptive and just listen.
Daniel Mauser Memorial Website 